


The Best Thing That Ever Happened To Me

by culturevulture73



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Original Trilogy
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, F/M, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-17
Updated: 2016-12-17
Packaged: 2018-09-09 05:29:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,713
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8877796
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/culturevulture73/pseuds/culturevulture73
Summary: Han's fourth thought was that there had to be gods because he could hear them laughing at him.





	

_"He's my brother."_

Han's first thought had been – twins?

His second – we won't break Luke's heart.

The third thought ambushed him much later...

 

The night of the celebration on Endor, Han turned and saw Luke drawing away from them, staring at shadows on the periphery, alone. He sent Leia to collect him and pushed his worry to the back of his mind. The Emperor and Vader were dead, there was nothing to be done but finish off the Empire and then they would all be happy.

Luke wasn't.

Han thought it was the nightmare Luke had endured with Vader and the Emperor. A week after the Death Star's destruction, he and Leia dragged the whole story out of Luke. Along the way, the twins finally told him the thing left unsaid - Vader. It had been a halting, quiet conversation on the Falcon and Han saw in their eyes how scared they were to even tell him…

_“Why would I care who your father is? I know who you are.”_

He saw the gratitude as he pulled them into his arms, the woman he loved and the man he loved. It wasn't a lie – they had threaded their way into his heart and he couldn’t imagine a reason that would make him let them go.

But still there was a distance, and Han didn't think it was because he and Leia were together, or not exactly.

It had been nearly two standard weeks now since Endor, and Luke had taken to disappearing for hours at a time. And that worried Han. If he'd been alone in his unease, he'd have chalked it up to his own overprotectiveness.

But he wasn't.

"Have you seen Luke?" Leia asked, standing at Han's elbow. They were leaning together at the railing overlooking the crowded flight desk of Home One, watching the shadows lengthen as the ship's artificial evening came on.

Not since this morning, no,” Han said. He took the last swallow of the caf he was holding. “Chewie and me spent the day figuring out what parts we need to repair the Falcon, but I asked around Rogue Squadron at lunch and they hadn't seen him at all.”

Leia heaved a sigh. “Something's bothering him, Han. But he won't tell me what.”

Which neatly summed up Han's own feelings. “Well, all the fighters are accounted for so he hasn't run too far, and I can't see him leaving without telling us." Han stared across the vast deck. "You saw him for six months, I didn't."

She sighed again. "Doesn't mean I know what's going on now. He… Frankly, I was scared for him after Bespin, and then it was like a switch flipped somewhere. He went from being just our Luke to – well, this. Calm and serene and so, so damned sad sometimes that I feel like I want to cry for him because he won't do it himself.”

"Yeah." Han scowled at his empty cup. "And it's not just because of…y'know."

"I'm worried about him."

"So am I. Well, with no ships missing, guess he's down on the moon. I know he needed to be alone but there's alone and there's this."

Leia caught his hand and he pulled her into a hug. "I know."

Han almost laughed. "You two are determined to drive me crazy."

Leia reached up and pulled his head down for a kiss. "Like you'd be anywhere else."

When Han finally came up for air, he grinned crookedly at her. "Nope. C'mon. Let's go get something to eat. If we haven't seen Luke by morning, I'll go down and drag his ass out of the forest."

No sign of Luke by breakfast so he caught a ride down with one of the salvage teams. By the time he'd been the tiebreaker on whether several Imperial speeder bikes were worth the trouble, it was nearing midday.

Han took himself away from the group and considered his next move. If he was Luke, where would he go?

The place with the most meaning for Luke, of course – the clearing where he burned whatever had been left of Darth Vader. Han smiled and set off.

As he'd hoped, Luke was there, sitting with his back against one of the great trees, almost lost in the tangled foliage at its base. But rather than the closed-eyed meditation Han had expected, Luke was staring at something a million parsecs away and looking – hells, he looked like he had not a single friend anywhere in the galaxy.

Han swallowed and summoned his best grin. "Hey, kid."

Luke refocused and that too calm smile appeared. "Hi, Han."

"Thought you could ditch me, huh? Me and Leia?" Han kept his tone light.

"Ditch? No." Luke's smile didn't change. "Find some peace and quiet away from…well…everything? Yes."

Han dropped to sit beside him. "We're that noisy, huh?"

"Not you two. Everything else is." Luke looked out at the forest. He leaned forward, drawing his knees up and resting his arms on them, looking for all the world the farm boy Han had met what felt like an age ago, despite the Jedi blacks and blond hair gone dark.

Han hesitated a second, then started rubbing the taut shoulders with his left hand. Luke made the softest sound of pleasure, so Han kept at it. "You really okay?"

"Tired, that's all. I just want…"

"Tell me."

"I don't know." What might be frustration mingled blackly with humor, the words escaping with a small laugh. "If I knew, I'd…" Luke shook his head.

Han hooked his hand across the powerful shoulders and tugged. Luke let himself be gathered in against Han's shoulder, and Han felt him draw a deep, shuddering breath.

"If I find out," Luke said softly. "I'll tell you."

"You'd better." Han kidded. Although Han had a suspicion about that, and it was getting stronger.

Sitting there in the quiet and green, for long minutes, no sounds but the wind in the leaves, Han he finally felt his entire soul exhale. "Coulda asked us along, y'know," he said eventually. "Leia needs a break - Command's got her running ragged."

Like his words had shattered the moment, Luke drew away and Han had no choice but to let him go.  
"I know,” Luke said, and Han winced inwardly at the weary expression on his friend's face. "They're not leaving you alone either."

"No. I came down with the salvage team and got to argue over the speeder bikes. So, that was fun." No response to that gambit, and all that nice green peace Han had had a minute ago vanished. “Luke. C'mon, kid. Talk to me.”

Abruptly Luke got to his feet and stalked out to the turned earth where they'd buried the last bits of the funeral pyre. Luke had personally destroyed the melted helmet and there were already a riot of flowering weeds growing.

Taken off guard, Han stared at the black-clad back. “Luke?”

"Dammit, Han, I said I don't know!” Luke wrapped his arms around himself then.

With that, Han had reached the limit. He stood, stalked over to Luke and turned him around. "Oh yes you do know and what's more, so do I. You listen to me, Luke. I know exactly what you're trying to do. You're trying to wall yourself away from me and from Leia. What I don't know is why."

“Because it's dangerous, Han!” Luke snapped himself out of Han's grip as if it were no stronger than a child's. “Being close to me is likely to get you killed, don't you see that?”

Luke pulled in a deep, shuddering breath. "Standing next to…we walked through the Death Star, on the way to the Emperor. And I saw us there, all of us, running through those corridors four years ago, and just for a minute, I wanted you and Leia there, so much. And do you know what would have happened if you had been there? You'd be dead, killed to make me turn.” Luke twisted away and stalked to the far side of the clearing and back again. “Ben and Yoda both knew, they warned me that my feelings for you would get us all killed or worse – ”

"And for that, you're gonna pull away from us?" Han shook his head. "Kid, you're the strongest person I know. Y'know why? Because you care about all of us! Hell, you cared about Vader – , you knew there was something good still in him and you found it. You're strong because of those feelings! And you want to push us away? Kill that caring inside you?" He put a hand on one strong arm and pulled Luke to him. "That's not you. You're not Kenobi or whoever your teacher was, in that swamp alone. You'll go crazy."

Luke was stiff in Han's arms, silent for a long, long moment. Then a hard breath and he softened into something human, his head dropping against Han's shoulder. Han tightened his embrace, nearly light-headed with the rush of relief. Was this it, then? The thing that had been driving Luke away?

How long they just stood there, Han had no real idea, before Luke finally unclenched his arms and exhaled shakily. Han simply held on, wondering for the millionth time since Jabba's palace exactly what he'd done to have Luke, and Leia, in his life. He just had to make sure Luke stayed there.

But that was part of the problem too, wasn't it? That Leia would stay in his life, Han had no doubt. But Luke? Because past the ridiculous idea that he was putting them in danger by loving them, there was still – something else. Han had Leia, and she him, and Luke – didn't. Not like that.

And that gnawed at Han, and it wasn't just that he wanted to see Luke happy in the same way that he and Leia were. There was something else under there he couldn't identify.

Han was still considering it as he and Leia ate breakfast the next morning. He'd brought back food for three because her quarters that had become quarters for all three of them. Sometimes the only time they saw each other was a hastily eaten meal.

"You know, I have you," Leia said, seemingly out of the air. "Luke doesn't have anyone."

Luke had once again vanished without a word, just confirming Han's fears that what he thought they'd settled the day before obviously wasn't the real problem.

"I really wish you'd stop practicing your mind reading on me. And besides, he's got both of us," Han protested but it rang hollow.

“Does he really, though?" Leia sighed. "I mean, you tried to argue him out of isolating himself, but did you actually convince him?”

"Luke? How the hell do I know?" Han scowled at his caf. "Yeah, I told him that but sometimes it's like I'm arguing with the Falcon. And I'd have better luck with her."

"So you're still worried."

"Yeah." Han pulled at a paper napkin, twisting it into shapes. Luke was Leia’s brother and that made them all one happy family – except that it didn’t. Because Luke patently wasn’t happy and Han wasn’t happy either, and they should be. Han should be – so why wasn’t he?

Before Han could pursue that thought, though, Luke actually arrived, as if to prove it all had changed. Impeccable in his usual black, he seemed cheerful and eager to dig into the pastries. It was the old smiling Luke back again.

At least if you didn't look too far.

And it cracked Han over the head at last as he stared at his friend and his lover, laughing together, and fought back the sudden, powerful urge to pin them both to the bed.

Both of them.

_Oh, kriffin' hell._

The third thought…he was in his own special hell – sitting between brother and sister and loving, wanting, them both.

Falling for one was bad enough.

Falling for both? And how could he even tell them? He couldn't break one's heart because he loved the other one too? Right? And what if Luke didn't love him?

Han spent the rest of the meal in sick silence, nursing his cup of caf, trying to shut his brain up.

Looking for any distraction, he immediately volunteered to help Madine and Ackbar plot out the best path to the next fleet rendezvous. A day of focusing on star charts and summoning all his best smuggler tricks completely shut off any stray thoughts. With Luke flying reconnaissance and Leia ensconced with the diplomatic team on efforts to win over more star systems, he went the whole day without seeing them again. He was already asleep by the time Leia dragged in.

The next day's breakfast, though, found him right back in his new reality. Han stared at them both across the table, afraid he looked crazy and knowing he couldn't do a damn thing about it. He escaped as fast as he could, mumbling something about Falcon repairs, because of course they'd believe that. A day banging on shield plates, welding connections and tinkering with the new sensor dish would make him forget the insane notion that he actually wanted…

None of that. Work. Good, honest scrambling around his ship's innards and he wouldn't think about it today either.

For awhile, it worked. He argued with Chewie, he scowled at the repair droid skittering up and down the upper hull as he uncrossed wires on the new dish until they could get a decent reading out of it.

But with success achieved way too fast, he ran out of things to tinker with. So Han stalked around the vast flight deck and tried to ignore Luke up to his lovely ass in his own ship, only to see Leia sweep by in that Alliance uniform that set off her curves. He nearly leapt out of his skin when Luke snuck up on him and asked for help.

_It's okay. Working on his ship means you won't be staring at him._

_No, just smelling him as he's up to his elbows in the ship next to you, watching those hands…_

_Damnit, you're not a teenager. Get a grip._

Luke looked at him quizzically for a few seconds and then began explaining his mechanical dilemma.

Han's fourth thought was that there had to be gods because he could hear them laughing at him.

He agreed to dinner with them in the mess, because how could he not? Nor could he find a way to refuse when Leia dragged them back to her quarters for brandy. Tomorrow, they would split up – Luke and Leia staying on Home One as they jumped to the next rendezvous, he and Chewie in the Falcon. The trip was scheduled to take at least a day and a half of jumps.

If Han could hold out tonight, he'd have time and room to drink the idea that he was in love with both of them out of his head. Not that that had ever worked before, but there had to be a first time, right?

Then Leia changed out of her uniform into a more comfortable robe, Luke slid off his boots and weapons belt, and they curled up on the couch side by side, as they frequently did. Two sets of eyes, blue and brown, fixed on Han. Waiting.

Trying to repress a sigh, Han pulled up Leia's desk chair to sit across from them and stared back for a long minute. Then he gave in, taking off his gun belt, boots and vest, matching them in his own comfortable pose as he usually did.

But there was something here tonight. Something different.

 _Your imagination._ Which was eager to work overtime.

Thankfully Luke was in a talkative mood after he handed around glasses of their usual brandy nightcap, and regaled Leia with some gossip about one of the Rogues and one of her support team, Han let himself drift on the brightness of their voices, the slow warmth of the brandy. Storing it up for lonely days to come…

“Han?”

“Yeah?” He looked up from his brandy and met Leia's eyes.

“You're parsecs away.”

He smiled at her. "Nah, that's tomorrow."

She shook her head at him, then looked at Luke. When both dark and blue eyes met his, Han felt the deck shift out from under him, as if he was jumping to hyperspace.

Because this was the look they wore when they ganged up on him, got him to do things for them – _run these blasters, carry these refugees, go with me to find these Jedi artifacts, please, Han?_

And now, it was more than he could take. With a strangled sound, Han bolted from his chair and away from those eyes that were his downfall.

"Han?" Leia's voice, sharp with worry.

He couldn't respond for a minute, but he could imagine them exchanging looks behind his back. He drained the glass and rolled it in both hands to keep himself calm. "I don't know…"

Footsteps, then Leia appeared in front of him. "Han, what is wrong with you? You have been jumpy every time we've seen you."

“Nothing's wrong,” Han snapped, grimaced and closed his eyes because yeah, that was convincing. "I just …"

"You're – you're not thinking of leaving us?"

Oh, hell.

“Han, you can't!” And that was Luke, before Han himself could string two words together. “You can't leave, not now.”

Han opened his eyes and every good reason he'd had drowned in the depths of their eyes. "No, I'm not - where would I go?” He sighed. "C'mon, you know I wouldn't. You know I never could. My place is here with you."

"Then what is it?” Leia reached up and ran her fingers over Han's knuckles where he held the empty glass far too tightly. If she was trying to soothe him, Han reflected, it wasn't working. “Let me guess,” she went on in a lighter, teasing voice, “you've got your own dread secret now to reveal? You're the Emperor's son?"

"Not that I know." He carefully put the glass down so he didn't crack it. "Okay…listen. Leia, you know I love you."

"Yes?" Leia raised her eyebrows, urging him on.

Han took a deep breath and looked at Luke. "I love you too, Luke."

"Well, I know……oh.” Blue eyes went suddenly wide. “You mean-"

"No. Yes. I mean, yes, like always but in love – I want you!" Luke's mouth dropped open and Han growled in frustration. "You know what I mean!"

"And you think – that I don't want you?" The Jedi calm Luke carried lately was nowhere to be seen now, vanished beneath a smile that broadened impossibly as Han watched. "You are usually somewhat smarter than this."

Han sputtered. "I swear to your stupid Force, I have no idea why I put up with the two of you."

"No? Let me help you with that," Luke said as he reached up, slid a hand around the back of Han's neck and pulled him down.

Han hadn't kissed a man in years and he would have bet Luke had never kissed one at all, but now he was wondering because Luke clearly wasn't slowing down any. Han gave in without thought, suspended somewhere between shock and euphoria.

They broke the kiss roughly a year later, to Leia's amused throat clearing.

"Well,” she said, eyeing them both, and caught their hands. “About time you two figured things out."

Dragged back to the couch, Han dropped into a graceless slouch between them and then pulled both of them close against him. "I never meant to fall for both of you. I don't know - how…"

Leia slid one hand against his cheek and he met those fathomless dark eyes. "You nerfherder. We'll figure it out. Don't we always?"

Han met her kiss, as natural and warm as ever. "Don't want to hurt either of you."

"You won't," Luke said softly. "Not so bad, is it?"

He turned and pulled Luke into another kiss. Different from Leia's but just as natural and warm. Being with them was like coming home, if he'd ever had a home before this to compare.

"So bad? You're kidding, right?" He toyed with the end of Leia's braid. "I should have died in a gutter years ago. Now I'm a general. I'm in love with a princess and a Jedi Knight – I mean, when I was a kid starving on the streets, I couldn't even dream of something like this."

"I know I couldn't," Luke said wistfully and Han ruffled the blond hair.

"Well, when I was sitting in that cell, waiting to die, I certainly didn't expect to have either of you falling into my life either." Leia craned around and grabbed the brandy decanter off the table behind the couch, refilled Han's glass and then Luke's and her own. "But here we are. We're going to finish this war and then we'll figure out the rest of our lives, right?"

Luke sighed. "Yeah. I'm going to have to start from scratch with the Jedi."

Han smiled. "You got your first pupil right here and if you think I'm gonna miss you teaching Leia, you gotta another think comin'." He laughed when Leia whacked his chest.

"If I've got the Jedi, and Leia's working for the new government, what are you gonna do?" Luke asked.

"Well, I'm pretty good at training pilots. I kinda remember that the Jedi flew around places doing things. I can train your students – if you want me."

"Absolutely." Luke smiled the smile Han had fallen for years ago, he realized now. It had just taken awhile to make the connection.

Leia looked at them. "Well, you're going to have to have your school wherever we found the new government – because you do not get to leave my sight, either of you, for a long time."

"We're probably getting ahead of ourselves."

She shook her head. "If we don't think ahead, what's the point? We've come this far; we'll finish this fight." She raised her glass. "To our future."

They clinked glasses and drank.

"Now, brother dear, we're going to have to work out a schedule…"

Han choked. "I'm sitting RIGHT HERE."

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks to Jessebee for the above and beyond beta! Hope my giftee enjoys!
> 
> Original prompt: “SkySolo after Endor, Solo is still with Leia but he notices Luke’s withdrawn and lonely and realizes he’s in love and has to let them both know. “


End file.
